Hidden in Plain Sight: The Reality of Queer Women in Society
We grow up hearing bedtime stories and fairytales that start with those magic words: “Once upon a time in a land far, far away (...)”. Unfortunately, Queer History is not a fairytale, and as many social movements, it started deeply attached to violence. Queer History starts with “the first Pride was a riot”. On the dawn of 28th June 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn bar in New York. One can acknowledge that since then, the LGBTQIA+ movement has conquered many rights and freedoms. Nonetheless, in a deeper analysis, the Stonewall spirit never faded despite its accomplishments. Many arguments could be given, but in a threatening reality, the Stonewall ethos - the spirit of fighting back - is deeply entrenched in queer identity.
Celebrating Pride should not be restricted to the month of June. Broad criticisms have arisen towards several companies and brands for their Rainbow Washing - profiting from Pride month without an inclusive essence. Pride is a year-long celebration and reminder of the continuous fight needed just to be able to exist in our plenitude. It can be tiring and draining; but together, the movement is stronger.
In the LGBTQIA+ movement, the struggles are intersectional, and women continue to be underrepresented. This underrepresentation demands further examination. The term “lesbian invisibility”, often utilised as an umbrella term as discussed in the Human Rights Watch Report “‘This is Why We Became Activists’” alludes to the assumption that issues concerning lesbian, bisexual, and queer (LBQ+) individuals are challenging to document and address. For this article, we opt to utilise “queer women erasure” for matters of inclusion. Without critical reflection and a dedicated effort to bridge this gap, this term can overlook the systemic discrimination and violence against LBTQ+ people, undervalue women’s issues within queer spaces, and reinforce the traditional focus on cisgender men as the primary subjects of rights, research, and investigation (Human Rights Watch, 2023).
This article comes into being as a response to this prevalent dynamic wherein the experiences of LBTQ+ women are often marginalized and rendered invisible in conversations on LGBTQIA+ rights, issues, and culture. There is an urgent need to challenge this narrative and bring the experiences of queer women to the forefront. By documenting their unique struggles and triumphs, we aim to shed light on their realities, advocate for inclusivity, and contribute to the broader discourse on LGBTQIA+ rights.
Contrary to popular belief, queer women and girls do not enjoy more freedom than queer men and boys in society. This misunderstanding stems from the absence of explicit criminalization of same-sex relations between women in many legal systems. However, this does not reflect reality. It overlooks the unique vulnerabilities and challenges that LBTQ+ women and non-binary individuals face, including exposure to homophobic and lesbophobic violence. As we delve into the experiences of queer women in Europe in 2024, we hope to confront these misconceptions and affirm the importance of visibility and representation in the ongoing fight for equality.
Rising threat against the LGBTQIA+ community
In today's world, being a queer woman in 2024 is fraught with challenges, underscored by an escalating threat to the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community. This unsettling reality is highlighted by a recent report published by ILGA-Europe, a leading advocate for LGBTIA+ rights in Europe. The report, known as the Rainbow Map, ranks 49 European countries based on their legislative progress in the arena of LGBTI human rights. The findings paint a stark and worrying picture of a continent divided, with some countries demonstrating a strong commitment to advancing and protecting LGBTI rights while others actively undermine them (ILGA Europe, 2024)
LGBTIAphobic and transphobic content in the media is increasing in several countries, including Andorra, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, France, Sweden, Turkey, and the UK, as shown by ILGA Europe (2024). Moreover, numerous incidents of online hate have been reported in Andorra, Albania, Armenia, Austria, Cyprus, Northern Cyprus, Estonia, Ireland, Malta, and Turkey. In Southern Europe, countries such as Portugal and Spain have observed a rapid increase in online hatred, namely from 2019 to 2022, a 185% increase in Portugal and 130% in Spain (ILGA Europe, 2024).
Various regions in Italy, for instance, are moving towards the withdrawal of parenthood rights from same-sex couples. Simultaneously, other countries like Slovakia, Croatia, France, and the UK are introducing measures that severely limit access to trans-specific healthcare. These actions reflect a regressive trend in legislation that directly harms the LGBTQIA+ community (ILGA Europe, 2024). Even more concerning is Russia's unprecedented move to criminalize the international LGBTQIA+ movement, categorizing it as an 'extremist organization.' This action represents a significant threat not just to Russian LGBTQIA+ citizens but also to the global solidarity and activism aimed at fighting for LGBTQIA+ rights.
The European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights underscores this escalating threat in their recent LGBTIQ Survey III report (European Union Fundamental Rights Agency, 2024). The report presents concerning statistics, indicating that over two-thirds of respondents encountered hate statements, and there has been a large increase in violence against the LBGTQIA+ community since the last survey in 2019. This alarming rise in hate speech and violence necessitates urgent action and stronger protective legislation.
However, too many countries show a disconcerting lack of progress in these areas. According to ILGA-Europe’s Advocacy Director, Katrin Hugendubel, many countries across the region are stalling in moving legal protections forward, failing to renew their commitments through national strategies and action plans. This inaction is not just disappointing but dangerous, as it leaves minorities, including LGBTQIA+ people, vulnerable to rapidly changing political landscapes and potentially regressive governments.
Most EU accession countries, including Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kosovo, Moldova, Montenegro, North Macedonia, Serbia, and Ukraine, are lagging behind in their commitments. Their failure to introduce essential protective legislation puts their citizens at risk of backlash and undermines their fundamental rights. In a similar vein, Turkey and Georgia, also EU accession candidates, are actively eroding human rights and fundamental freedoms. These countries are not only failing to make progress but are also introducing new legislation specifically targeting LGBTQIA+ people, further exacerbating the challenges faced by these communities.
Even when potential legislative protections are proposed, many languish in bureaucratic limbo for years without making tangible progress. For example, Ukraine has failed to move forward with hate crime legislation and proposals for the recognition of same-sex partnerships, despite these measures having endorsement from several ministries and wide societal support. Similarly, in Czechia, a draft law on legal gender recognition that would eliminate the sterilization requirement remains stalled. Other delays include the UK's unfulfilled promise to ban conversion practices and Lithuania’s lack of progress on recognizing same-sex couples despite numerous court cases and recommendations from international institutions.
Despite the hopeless picture, there are still some seeds of hope. There has been a gradual increase in acceptance across countries where LGBTI discrimination was previously widespread. The ILGA 2024 Annual Review showed that many Eastern European countries, such as Bulgaria, Czechia, Hungary, Poland, Slovakia, and Slovenia, have seen a growing acceptance, ranging from support for equal marriage to rainbow families (ILGA Europe, 2024).
Remarkably, most European countries still do not include sexual orientation, gender identity, or sex characteristics as qualification criteria for asylum. This omission is especially worrying in a climate where governments are increasingly undermining the international right to asylum. These numerous challenges and setbacks underscore the urgent need for stronger laws and policies to ensure the safety, dignity, and rights of the LGBTQIA+ community, particularly queer women. Furthermore, it is essential to recognise the degree to which the political climate impacts queer policies. Namely, the rising political right and far-right have underscored and deteriorated many conditions of queer livelihood. The realities faced by queer women in 2024 call for concerted effort and commitment from all sectors of society to enact change and protect their fundamental rights.
Source: https://rainbowmap.ilga-europe.org/
What is it like to be a queer woman in Europe: Questionnaire’s Overview
This was the leading question that inspired our questionnaire, but truthfully what motivated us was the marvellous queer women that surrounded us.
Throughout the numerous questions, we aspired to collect women’s different stories and experiences. We aim to capture how their queerness shaped their perception of the world and how they would coexist, respecting their own truth. Above all, we aimed to amplify their empowered voices and give them the proper attention—not solely for this Pride month but to immortalise them in a blog post.
The diversity of testimonials inspired us - being a queer woman in Europe is a chameleonic experience. Its own uniqueness makes it remarkably special. We have learned that to be a queer woman in Europe is to conquer your voice and space in a heteronormative, patriarchal world that intends to repress it - not solely because you are a woman, but also because you are a queer woman.
To be a queer woman in Europe is to reinvent your identity various times every day - one that is true to yourself; another that fits everybody’s expectations of your body and your own way of expression; another one to protect yourself when you are holding hands with your significant other or just existing within your queerness.
To be a queer woman “feels freeing”. It means “being myself without fear of being judged” and “giv[ing] me a better sense of self” that has “opened possibilities for alternative lifestyles which allow one to have a choice over their own existence”
Moreover, the P4H Europe Questionnaire has highlighted the importance of a queer community in the “sense of belonging”, in solidarity and growth - “It feels like being part of a family”. The queer community is a source of strength and a place with no fears for blossoming within your own identity.
A journey in embracing queer identity
The journey to embracing one's queerness is often a deeply personal and transformative experience. For some, this has come as instinctive and natural; but for many, this has been, on its own, a personal battle. Existing as queer means a variety of different things - which often can result in questioning every aspect of your “constructed identity”, your own internal beliefs and values.
One respondent described their journey as a process that required significant time and inner work. They emphasized the importance of self-compassion and overcoming deeply rooted notions of heteronormativity and queerphobia. This individual shared, "Embracing my queerness was a journey that required a lot of time and considerable inner work. This process taught me to be gentle and kind to myself whilst overcoming deeply ingrained notions of heteronormativity and queerphobia. Now, I have a clearer understanding of who I am, and I've never been happier with myself. My queerness will never be a reason for anyone to belittle me. I feel comfortable in my own skin, prepared to face any hurdles that come my way. I feel brave." Additionally, another respondent highlighted the difficulties of embracing their identity in a context where it is criminalized. Despite residing in a more accepting country now, the residual stress of concealing their identity remains. They expressed, "It's difficult to embrace publicly when it is criminalized. So I would say it is stressful to feel safe and open up about it sometimes, even though I am now in a 'queer accepting' country.” Furthermore, attached to these same feelings, it is also important to understand how pre-existing mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder and depression can exacerbate the length and/or roughness of the journey.
In addition, self-acceptance has also enabled some individuals to express themselves more truthfully in their daily lives. One person shared, "It has given me a lot of self-acceptance. I feel a lot more able to dress how I want and be honest with my feelings. One huge thing is going swimming; I now wear trunks with a swimming costume. That has meant I can participate in a hobby more authentically, and I feel more able to concentrate on the activity rather than being self-conscious and uncomfortable”. Attached to this notion, another person expressed that "Before coming out, I felt like I was trapped in somebody else’s reality. Now I can live life more authentically, with less worry and more room for genuine connection."
Together We Thrive: Queer Women, Community, and Belonging
When asked to describe a positive experience, the responders to the questionnaire emphasized different canon events for them. Pride parades, youth gatherings and LGBTQIA+ safe spaces (such as bars and libraries) were often cited as places where one felt a strong sense of community and belonging. Moreover, friends and online communities were observed as a key support and solidarity network. They provided LBTQ+ women the opportunity to connect, share experiences, and find support. One responder mentioned that being able to be truthful with their friends “felt amazing and meant the world to me as a kid so that I can express my joy and experience with love with people I considered a family”.
Additionally, another responder underlined that queer friends demonstrated understanding and validation of my emotions in a particular situation. That experience was significant as it affirmed the validity of my emotional response and provided a sense of shared understanding within my support network. It reassured me that my feelings were acknowledged and respected by individuals who could empathize with my perspective, fostering a profound sense of connection and affirmation in my personal experiences.
Finally, it is also crucial to acknowledge that sometimes the best moments arise from organic exchanges and unexpected settings, particularly where queerness is not the focal point. A responder highlighted a moment within a professional context that evolved into an occasion of solidarity when a colleague chose to disclose their identity.
Shaping Identities: Impacts of Queer Women Representation
Representation profoundly affects our livelihoods, cultural narratives, and societal perceptions. Growing up with strong, correlatable role models is vital in one’s self-perception and self-esteem. The portrait of diverse identities and stories, particularly the representation of LGBTQIA+ individuals, validates one’s experiences.
The results of the questionnaire demonstrated the profound impact of queer representation on their self-discovery and identity affirmation. Respondents mentioned how early exposure to characters like Callie Torres or Kat from “The Bold Type” facilitated their self-acceptance journey. Additionally, Kristen Stewart's public discussions about identity inspired respondents, boosting their confidence in embracing all facets of their identity and agency in choosing personal paths and engagements. Moreover, Avril Lavigne was also mentioned for fostering a sense of belonging and representation. Generally speaking, the portrayal of queer identities and/or relationships not only validated queer existence but also provided a sense of safety and acceptance.
Some respondents shed light on the increased visibility of diverse queer identities. For feminine-presenting individuals that often feel pressured to adopt a more “queer presentation” to align with societal expectations, the increased visibility of diverse queer identities dissipates feelings of impostorship. One can conclude that the increase in positive queer representation in everyday life and media correlates with an easier self-acceptance journey.
Unsafe and Unseen
The experiences of queer women in Europe in 2024, as highlighted by the P4H Europe Hub questionnaire, underscore a tangible sense of apprehension about safety in public spaces. LBTQ+ women frequently reported the need to restrict their freedom of movement and limit public displays of affection due to the fear of backlash or violence. Tragically, there have been instances across Europe where couples have been verbally or physically assaulted for expressing their affection publicly. A powerful testament to this reality was voiced by one respondent who noted, "holding hands and kissing in public should not be an act of bravery or activism. It should not make us self-aware and worried about other people." This statement eloquently encapsulates the emotional burden carried by many queer women, who must constantly navigate their identity in public spaces, not as a form of self-expression but as an act of survival.
Additionally, far too often, there is a dichotomy between feminine-presenting and masculine-presenting LBTQ+ people. On the one hand, feminine-presenting individuals face a dilemma of choosing between their safety and their identity, as they're often treated as heterosexual in the absence of their partners. This potent fear of being 'visible' and the consequent danger it could bring indicates a significant challenge for LBTQ+ women (Human Rights Watch, 2023). The emotional burden of worrying about their own and their partner's safety is a sobering reality for many queer women in Europe, highlighting the urgent need for societal and legislative changes to ensure their safety and freedom. Furthermore, the questionnaire identified that when others publicly disclosed their identity, queer women often found themselves the target of unwanted advances or harassment. The fear of being seen as an 'easy target' for such actions adds another layer to the complexities that LBTQ+ women face in navigating public spaces. On the other hand, that can also function as a defence mechanism that masculine-presenting LBTQ+ people may often not access. Socially-constructed societal expectations of what a queer individual should look like may result in higher violence settings. The fear of being 'seen' or recognized as queer, particularly in public spaces, is a common thread in the responses. The apprehension extends not only to overt displays of affection but also to participation in public events such as Pride marches. Many respondents express fear of potential backlash from their families or communities, highlighting how deeply ingrained homophobia and heteronormativity can impact the mental well-being of queer women. This possibility may create scenarios where masculine-presenting LBTQ+ people are between a hard dualism: safety or their own identity.
On a more positive note, some respondents reported that their experiences within queer spaces, such as clubs, were respectful and safe. However, these spaces were often considered exceptions to the public domain. The primary source of discomfort and unsafety was identified as cisgender heterosexual men, reiterating the need for broader societal transformation to ensure the safety of LBTQ+ women. All these factors combined create a compelling picture of the challenges faced by queer women in Europe, emphasizing the importance of targeted interventions and inclusive policies.
Challenging the System
The responses to the Politics4Her Europe Hub questionnaire reveal the harsh realities that queer women faced in 2024 due to escalating threats to LGBTQI+ rights. The collective narrative of these responses emphasizes the urgent need for societal and legislative changes. Safety, acceptance, and freedom for queer women in Europe must be prioritized to alleviate the mental health impacts of living under the rising threat to LGBTQI+ rights. In professional settings, although acceptance of the LGBTQI+ community was noted, concerns were raised about future experiences such as pregnancy and sexual rights, highlighting the potential for discrimination and conservative attitudes among healthcare providers. The extreme risk of imprisonment for identifying as queer in certain countries forced individuals to hide their true identities, limiting their freedom to express affection in public and creating a pervasive sense of danger. Trans women reported issues with single-sex spaces that were permitted to exclude them, indicating the presence of legal and social barriers that undermine their rights. One respondent summed up their experience succinctly, stating, "Well, everything," pointing to the widespread and systemic nature of the barriers faced by queer women in society. The realities faced by queer women in 2024 called for concerted efforts from all sectors of society to enact change, protect their fundamental rights, and ensure their mental well-being.
Advancing Queer Women’s Rights
One striking aspect that emerged from these responses was the dual-edged sword of visibility. On the one hand, increased visibility was seen as a form of progress. One respondent passionately noted, "I am so proud to see so many NGOs and grassroots, fiercely fighting for queer rights and some media who courageously feature queer people or talk about things that would otherwise be considered taboo!! So it's amazing to see." This statement underscores the crucial role of representation in media and the tenacity of numerous organizations advocating for queer rights. In this sense, visibility can lead to a shift in societal attitudes. As the same respondent observed, people's perceptions are slowly evolving from outright rejection to an acceptance of the existence and legitimacy of queer identities.
However, increased visibility also brings increased exposure to potential violence and backlash. It is a stark reminder that even as we celebrate progress, queer women continue to navigate a complex and often hostile landscape. Another respondent shared a sobering perspective: "We are more visible in the public space. However, it also means we are more subject to violence." This sentiment underscores the urgent need for protective measures to ensure increased visibility does not translate into increased danger.
It is also worth noting the influence of generational shifts on the acceptance of queer women. One respondent highlighted that "Generational shifts, particularly among Gen Z and Millennials, have led to increased acceptance and solidarity for queer women." This observation suggests that younger generations may be leading the way in promoting more open and accepting attitudes towards queer women.
Overall, the collective voices of these respondents paint a picture of resilience, hope, and ongoing struggle. They highlight the importance of continued advocacy, representation, and legal protection for queer women. As we continue to examine the realities faced by queer women in 2024, these personal narratives underscore the pressing need for societal and legislative changes that prioritize the safety and acceptance of the LGBTQI+ community.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the journey for queer women in Europe, though punctuated by numerous hurdles and challenges, is marked by an unwavering spirit of resilience, tenacity and solidarity. Each story narrated, each struggle confronted, and each victory celebrated contributes to the rich, colourful, and diverse tapestry that embodies the LGBTQIA+ community. It is within this extraordinary diversity and unity that hope is kindled and sustained.
The progress made so far, although tested by the winds of resistance, stands as undeniable proof that change, though often slow and incremental, is indeed possible. The spirit of Stonewall, the ethos of resistance, continues to fuel the fight for equality, reminding us of our roots in defiance and our collective quest for justice. Together, as a vibrant, diverse and resilient community, we stand strong - our solidarity, our shield, our diversity, our strength. We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us, their struggles paving the way for our continued fight for equality. The road ahead may be steep and fraught with difficulties, but the future, lit with hope and change, promises new horizons.
We must continue to raise our voices in unison, share our stories with courage, and lend our unwavering support to each other. Each voice that joins this chorus amplifies its reach, each story shared adds to our collective narrative, and each gesture of support fortifies our community. For it is in unity that we find our strength, and in our strength that we find hope as we continue on this journey towards equality, dignity, and acceptance for all.
References:
ILGA Europe. (2024, February 20). Rainbow Map. https://rainbowmap.ilga-europe.org/
ILGA Europe. (2024). Annual Review of the Human Rights Situation of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex People in Europe and Central Asia 2024.
ILGA Europe. (2024, May 15). With elections looming, Rainbow Map shows Europe is not equipped against attacks from the far-right | ILGA-Europe. https://www.ilga-europe.org/press-release/with-elections-looming-rainbow-map-shows-europe-is-not-equipped-against-attacks-from-the-far-right/
Kilbride, E. (2023). “This Is Why We Became Activists”. Human Rights Watch. https://www.hrw.org/report/2023/02/14/why-we-became-activists/violence-against-lesbian-bisexual-and-queer-women-and-non
About the authors:
Eileen Taylor is a dedicated Assistant Project Manager with a focus on human rights and Head of Research at Politics4Her Europe Hub. She excels in conducting thorough research, communicating effectively through various mediums, and managing projects for optimal impact. Passionate about advocating through an intersectional feminist perspective, she is deeply involved in human rights initiatives.
Érica Moreira is a dedicated advocate for women's and migrants' rights, currently deepening her expertise in Migration and Diplomacy at Sciences Po Paris. She contributes as a Programme Intern at Africa Legal Aid and serves as a Youth Ambassador for Vila Nova de Gaia. Érica is also actively involved with Politics4Her Europe amplifying voices from an intersectional feminist lens.
