Diary of a Feminist: Shamsa Araweelo’s survivor story, how shame traps your spirit
Trigger Warning: Mention of rape, abuse and graphic details of FGM
In April’s edition of Diary of a Feminist, we hear from Somalian Survivor, Activist, Inspirational Speaker, and Founder Shamsa Araweelo.
Shamsa shares her experiences as a survivor of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), forced marriage, marital rape, and domestic abuse. Shamsa has spoken in great detail to amplify the voices of the voiceless and survivors.
This is only the beginning
Shama’s traumatic FGM experience happened to her in her grandmother’s home in Somalia, she was a 6-year-old girl lying in a pool of blood from her younger cousin who had been in the chair before her. Shamsa’s family pinned her down while a cutter used a double-sided razor to remove parts of her genitalia without any painkiller or anesthetic. Talking in a previous interview Shamsa recounted “I looked to the side of the cutter and she had a jar full of bits of women’s female genitalia that she had previously cut off other girls, I looked at it and thought I am going to die.”
Shamsa managed to escape to the UK, but life was not an easy upward trajectory, especially when she returned to Somalia years later, after her family forced her to marry her cousin, who inflicted even more abuse on her such as rape and domestic violence.
Shamsa is now permanently living in the UK and recently traveled to Germany to have reconstructive surgery, which has been another challenging journey in itself.
Now she is back home in the recovery process which she is taking seriously as the UK’s health system does not cover aftercare following reconstructive surgery. “I'm putting a lot of my energy into resting, but of course, that doesn't stop me from being an activist or speaking out,” she added.
Over the past few years, Shamsa has dedicated herself to opening up discussions on FGM and forced marriage as well as other types of gender-based violence. Not only does she advocate for survivors but she helps people from Somalia escape and supports women and girls around the world daily.
Understanding the ‘shame’ associated with women’s bodies
In many cultures discussing any topics that involve women’s bodies and anatomy are seen as hugely shameful. Shamsa said this is why so many women in countries like Somalia, where FGM is practiced, cannot openly discuss what happened to them. “When I had my FGM, I was surrounded by adults, who were glorifying it, but they never described it, as they know children would be scared and run.”
FGM is painted in such a positive light to the girls who are just about to have the procedure, that they even feel excited for that day. “Only when we get to the moment that we will have the procedure, is when we find out the horrors of it.”
For weeks after the procedure girls commonly have their legs tied up and cannot walk until the stitches fully heal. “But by then your trust for your family is completely gone out of the window. So to even think about having a conversation about what they did to you, is not even considered. Instead, you just think, I survived it. I needed to survive it.”
“So what keeps people silent is the idea in our society that your name is everything and you are terrified of bringing shame on yourself, your family, and your community.”
‘Shame traps your spirit’
It was in October 2019 when Shamsa felt compelled to start sharing her story publicly on social media. She had been researching to find young Somali women who have had experiences like her that she could relate to and there was nobody.
“I talk about my personal experience and also highlight the experiences of other women across the world, not just in my community. I try to be the person that they can relate to.”
“It’s very important especially when it comes from survivors because they have first-hand experience, they know what it's like to live in the body that they have, they know how it feels to live in a body that keeps score of trauma.”
After initially sharing her story for the world to see, she began to feel “consumed by the idea of getting attacked, be shamed, harassed and threatened.” Shamsa added, “I can tell you shame can trap your spirit.”
But what helped Shamsa feel free from this trap was her practice of manifestation in terms of religion. “As a Muslim person, God says your tongue holds a lot of power. What affirmations and manifesting did for me was get me out of that space. It helped me to look at something bigger than just my trauma, which was the little box that I had put myself in.”
It was then that Shamsa said she started seeing things from another perspective. “I began to think about things I have never thought of before, about my potential, about where my life could go. I have learned so many skills because I allowed myself to, as I was no longer holding on to the words of other people.”
She turned and pointed to the frame behind her, “Even with my bachelor’s degree behind me, I was made to believe that I was dumb because I'm dyslexic, my family genuinely thought that I was not capable of education. Back in 2019, I thought to myself, actually, I want to give it a try. I did pass with flying colors while completing those 3 years of studying in pain.”
‘This racist concept in society expects Black women, no matter what they're going through, to just be quiet.’
Upon arriving in the UK, you would hope it would be a heaven for women and girls fleeing violence, but the system and society are failing on a monumental level and making this dream increasingly impossible.
Shamsa said, ‘When it comes to “honor-based” violence or “honor killing” people think of the Asian or Arab community, but often not the Black community, even though they are facing the same type of trauma. I don’t understand why there are resources and funding for one community and absolutely nothing for the other.’
Reflecting on her own experience returning to the UK for the second time, on this occasion her mother had helped her escape after she had been forced to marry her abusive cousin. Tragically one week after Shamsa’s arrival to the UK she lost her mum to a brain tumor. Afterward, Shamsa went to her local council for help. She told them her story: “They stared at me like I was reading them a storybook.”
When people hear my story they ask, “How did you survive? How are you mentally? How are you articulating this? You know why, because Black women are expected to be strong. Black women are expected, no matter what type of trauma, to get over it.”
People say to me all the time: “Praise God, and thank God that you are still bubbly.” They ask how do you still smile and how are you not broken?”
The answer is “Because I'm Black.”
On top of Shamsa’s many projects and roles in her pledge to survivors and FGM awareness, she also trains Police officers in the UK on how to talk to survivors and help them. She recently graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Police Studies with Criminal Investigations Honors.
“I have always loved the criminal justice system. And my ambition, as crazy as this is going to sound is to be the first woman to create a formal criminal justice system for Somalia.”
For Shamsa learning about the system was the first logical step on this journey. “I need to learn about the current criminal justice system in the country where I live. I'm not gonna sit here and say it is perfect. However, we don’t have this system in Somalia, we don't even have the bare minimum, so I want to learn, and hopefully try to improve it.”
A final question
In the final question before finishing one of the most impactful interviews I have hosted in my life, I asked Shamsa what she wishes people asked her more. She thought for a while, and then said: “I wish people would ask me how I can help you?”
Her answer gave me chills because it was the same answer Lina AbiRafeh had given me in a Diary of a Feminist interview earlier this year.
This cemented the idea of what women really need, meaningful support as everyone has to fight a battle of some sort.
About the Author:
Olivia Hooper is the communications co-lead at Politics4Her, she is a British journalist and editor with a degree in translation. Olivia uses her career in journalism to advocate on gender-based issues surrounding women and girls.
